Nicole's Favourite Things: Sears Wish Book Edition, Part 2 - the Old Lady Edition

Normally on Monday mornings when I'm asked about my weekend, I squint a little, trying to remember any pertinent details, when it dawns on me that really, I did nothing of note. But not this weekend! It was action-packed, baby! Kind of - Friday was a day off and so I took the kids to the dentist and then to Colour Me Mine, the unfortunately named paint-your-own-pottery place. Then I fancied myself up to go to my husband's office Christmas party, which is not even a winter-themed holiday party, but an actual Christmas party where they say grace and everything, which makes me feel slightly scandalized. In any event, it was quite fun and I wore a dress that was not black:

 



 

Shout out to Banana Republic for excellent customer service. I would have never chosen this dress had the saleslady not foisted it upon me. I also learned that Banana Republic practices "vanity sizing" - either that or I lost a few dress sizes just walking into the store. I will say this about vanity sizing: it works. At least, it works for me. Even though I know, rationally, that I did not just magically change sizes, that it's all just a ploy to make me feel good about myself, good enough to buy a dress and then keep browsing, well. I guess I'm so vain. There's probably a song that's about me.

 

When I was shopping for this dress, I saw a woman wearing a full-length mink fur coat, an actual real fur coat. The woman wasn't elderly as one might expect, but instead a woman my own age. In a fur coat! I was startled by the sight because, well, one doesn't see fur coats out and about much anymore. Well, unless it's 1998 and there's a Carrie Bradshaw sighting:

 

Photo from instyle.com. Click on it to read fun facts about this coat. "It's raccoon, and it stank."

 

After that I was flipping through my favourite magazine, the Sears Wish Book, and found an entire section devoted to faux furs, made to look like actual furs. In case you're into the look but don't want, you know, the real thing.

 

 

 

So many hats. So very many hats. To be totally honest I was a little surprised by the sheer volume of acrylic-polyester-made-to-look-like-an-honest-to-god-old-fashioned-fur-hat items. But then I remembered - the target market here are women that are going to get gussied up in outfits like these for Christmas parties at the home:

 

 

 

I'm totally going to be one of them, you know. Probably I will have the black one. Well, or this sweater with the built in brooch. It comes in black!

 



 

 

Slacks and pumps. Speaking of shoes, I have to say I really, truly love that there is something called shooties and I want this pair in black:

 

 

 
 I'm not being facetious in the least. Those shooties are adorable. So are those Mary Janes! But back to my wardrobe planning for my days as a Golden Girl in the Home.

 

 

 
Nothing says relax like Frankie and this selection of velour coordinates. "Pull-On Pant" is a fun descriptor. So is "velour tunic with detailed neckline."

I tell you this, though. No matter what happens, no matter what I shall never wear a "Face Framer Fleece Sweater".

 

I don't care if it does come with a "Winter Wonderland Bird" motif. I shall not do it.

 

How about loungewear, though? I like to think I wouldn't wear this:

 

 

But really, a velour caftan, one size fits most, seems really cozy right now. It does come in black. Perhaps we should embrace the Mrs Roper in all of us.

 

But here I am, focussing on gifts for me at some age when really, that isn't the meaning of the season, is it? It's all about giving, not receiving. I wonder what my husband's reaction would be if I gave him this red plaid nightshirt.

 

 
I'm guessing it wouldn't be joyful.

Husbands are so hard to shop for, aren't they? But what about a little something something for some costume wearing, role playing fun?

 

I have a feeling that if I bought the bottom dress, the result would be no sex ever again. I'd probably have more chance getting lucky while wearing the raspberry coloured velour caftan. I COULD order a elf and/or Santa outfit for Barkley, but chances are he would eat it, and then we would all suffer. I would probably suffer the most.

 

Speaking of sexytimes, how about a sexy "Ultra-Plush High-Pile Animal-Print Velour Throw"? There certainly is a lot of velour in this catalogue, no? We love our velour. We want to be ensconced in velour, like a low-rent George Costanza. A low-rent George Costanza, hoo boy, that is something to aspire to. But who wouldn't like an ultra-plus high-pile animal-print on their bed? Tiger? Panda? No, I'm too Canadian for those animals. Give me a snowy wolf or a deer any day.